Boys or men? What even is a situationship?

Young adulthood is difficult enough without the added nuisance of confusing men, boys more so.  Work and classes during the day, meetings at night and there just do not seem to be enough time in the 24-hour period. What helps? True friendships, study incentives and a good sleep schedule. What does not help? Hormonal boys who cannot stay true to their word. Women know, their presence amid all the chaos only adds to the stressors.

“What are we” is the dreaded question that consumes the minds of young adulting women everywhere. So, what is that "we", and how can it be dissected? He acts like your boyfriend, but makes it clear he does not want a relationship. You guys are certainly not together, but you are not nothing either. So many questions linger, but there truly is only one answer, and that answer is – “situationship”. It is time to accept the inevitability and learn what the term is. It is time to discuss the situation, of situationships.  

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Now that the term has been introduced, it is time to dissect its reality. As a collision of the words “situation” and “relationship”, a situationship is the time period between labeled attraction, and a committed relationship. According to CNA Lifestyle , “Situationships can be between friends, colleagues, or even people who are married to other people.” It is a step above knowing them, but a step below truly emotionally being with them. In other words, it is a period in which truly no singular label can be placed. Its interpretation is situational, unfortunately, and that is what makes them so difficult to comprehend; there is a consistent lack of certainty. According to Michigan State News , “over half of 18–34-year-olds have been in a situationship”, so it is important to note that whatever you think you are going through alone, you are not. Even though amid overthinking and mixed signals, it may not feel that way.

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But why do situationships even occur? Is it a lack of communication, or rather a lack of desire for commitment? According to BBC  , the main reason that they occur is because Gen-Z and Millenials have a desire for belonging and mutual conformity. These generations are so sacred of commitment, but even more fearful of being entirely alone. Situationships bridge the gap between these fears and that is why the statistics surrounding their presence are so high.

Since they have no label, and the term is so loosely defined, society is becoming okay with accepting the outcome situationships find us in. According to Flat Hat Magazine , “situationships are just one of the most visible examples of our generation getting comfortable with the unknown.” This seeming comfort with ambiguity across generations is just reflective of the broader theme of Gen-Z and Millennial's fear of permanence. Still, acknowledging the fears that drive situationships is only a segment of the conversation, not every situationship carries the same emotional burden. 

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The unpredictability of situationships is scary, but as said before, not every one must have a negative connotation around them. According to Vogue, it is ok to enjoy a situationship even when others do not because “not everyone needs or wants a clear label slapped on their romantic goings-on.” In other words, situationships do not have to be categorized as right or wrong; they are simply a means of personal content. 

At the end of the day, college and post-college life are periods of navigating academics, friendships and self-discovery. Situationships can either complicate life by adding emotional ambiguity to the equation, or it can simply be a distraction from a fear of commitment.

Whatever the case, they have the strength to be both empowering and exhausting from young adults. The situation with situationships is that they are unpredictable; sometimes fulfilling and sometimes frustrating. Whatever the case, its important to learn why the “what are we” question is so powerful. Sometimes there may be no answer, and that is just the situation, with situationships.